What has the Sexual Revolution Done to Us?

Billy Ray’s Crowning Moment

Do yourself a favor, don’t click the link. Just don’t, it’s embarrassing. Let me fill you in. About a two or three weeks ago Billy Ray Cyrus and someone else whose name escapes me at the moment created a hip hop rendition of the song “Achy Breaky Heart”. It involves aliens and women dressed in duct tape.  It looks like a bad Katy Perry spoof (and Katy Perry’s videos are awful, so you know this is BAD.)

Within three days, the video had over 4 million hits on YouTube.

Guys, we need to stop criticizing Miley Cyrus and start praying for her. Poor thing, how could she have turned out otherwise, with this kind of parenting?

I’m confused. Why is it so hip and cool to be immature these days? To live in a state of perpetual adolescence?  Or, in Billy’s case, to be over 50 and make HD videos of yourself playing bad music with girls dressed like aliens gyrating all over you?

I can’t believe some free thinking person over the age of at least 25 thought this was a good idea, probably spent thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars to produce this, and even after seeing it and probably vomiting into their mouth ever so slightly, they still released it into the world. An adult came up with this. AN ADULT.  Do you know what this means? Do you know what we are seeing here? We are seeing the products of the Sexual Revolution.

No, we are seeing the victims of the Sexual Revolution.

People cry and lament the loss of the 1 Billion babies that have been murdered by abortion in the world, but we must also include in our sorrow those living people who were swept up by this Satanic Assault Revolution.

The saddest part is that many of us have not yet come to our senses. Some of us still think that the SR was a good thing. That it liberated women, tore the chains off of those pesky sexual restraints we used to practice, and brought about a more loving, emancipated world for future generations to enjoy.

Some say this DESPITE all of the science indicating otherwise, all of the divorces, all of the data confirming that the Sexual Revolution was probably one of the worst things that could happen to monogamy, to women’s happiness, to children … we are still turning a blind eye and producing trash, from generation to generation.

Sexual permissiveness does not equal female happiness or equality, “as anyone who’s hung out in a frat house for any length of time can attest”. The dismally lowered standards of today have actually reduced our chances of determining the type of person we are interacting with.  In the UK, Political figures are telling parents that they should “leave morality out” when talking to their kids about sex. The result of this is that the number of teenage girls conceiving has doubled. Genius.

What have we gained? What have we really gained by all of this?  Now, don’t get me wrong. I am a feminist. I believe men and women should have the same opportunities, I believe we can do all of the same things- with the exception of a few jobs that require physical strength beyond what women could probably do- but aside from that, we are both of equal value and merit. I really do appreciate the fact that women and men are becoming ever more equal in the eyes of society.

However, can we really give the Sexual Revolution credit for this? Does it give women better relationships? Increased happiness? More respect?

No.

What has actually happened is this: the pornography  industry has skyrocketed, pedophilia is at an all time high, Sex trafficking is a booming industry with no signs of slowing down, divorce rates are pathetic, and fornication is not only an accepted practice, it is an expected practice. And Billy Rae Cyrus is simply producing what we have told the world we want to see.

I’ve met a lot of men who were motivated to commit violence just like me. And without exception, without question, every one of them was deeply involved in pornography.” – Ted Bundy

Well-meaning, decent people will condemn the behavior of a Ted Bundy, while they’re walking past a magazine rack full of the very kinds of things that send young kids down the road to be Ted Bundy’s.” –Ted Bundy

We all play a role in this. What can you do to offset the effects of the SR? Comment with your thoughts below.

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10 Differences Between Dating a Woman vs. Dating a Girl:

This blog is a response to the fantastic blog by Jarrid Wilson on 10 Differences Between Dating a Boy vs. Dating a Man. I highly recommend it!

couples w heart

  1. A woman has her own goals and aspirations for the future. A girl is waiting for someone to come along and take care of her.
  2. A woman keeps the joys and sorrows of your relationship between herself and a few friends. A girl will ruin your reputation via social media before an argument has really even begun.
  3. A woman will encourage you to spend time with your family and friends. A girl will be self-centered and want all of your attention.
  4. A woman will encourage you in your goals while offering a realistic perspective. A girl will push her own agenda.
  5. A woman dresses modestly and respects herself. A girl will use her body to get attention from you and other men.
  6.  A woman will kindly wait for and then thank you warmly for holding the door open for her, paying for dates, and being a gentleman. A girl will be unappreciative and bitter.
  7. A woman holds tight to her faith, and puts her Lord first. A girl will be easily swayed.
  8. A woman uses her femininity to nurture and encourage. A girl is manipulative.
  9. A woman enhances her beauty and respects her body with clean eating and exercise. A girl is either obsessed with her physique or makes excuses for making unhealthy choices.
  10. A woman brings you closer to the Lord. A girl takes you away from him.

Stop Enabling Your Kids

I was talking to a student the other day who mentioned that her mother wrote her brother’s college scholarship essay. When she confronted her family about this, she was punished.  I know another friend whose mother requested his college recommendation letters for him.  Other parents, upon recognizing that their children are engaging in drug use, still provide them with spending money.  Colleges complain about parents calling to ask about their children’s grades, evidently their kids won’t tell them. Here a free tip: If you don’t know what grades your student is getting in college… in fact, if you even have to question whether or not your child is passing, DO NOT PAY FOR THE CLASSES.  Why the heck would you pay the ridiculous costs of classes and books and living if your child is going to even think about giving a mediocre performance, and then DARE to keep you, the source of at least part (maybe all) of their income, out of the loop? It’s obnoxious.

Guys, this is a topic that gets me FIRED UP! I am so passionate about this because my generation is going to rule the world one day, and frankly, most of us are not prepared. The reason? We have not been prepared.  The following is a result of my observations of my parents throughout the years, who have raised two children, are in the process of raising two more, and the lot of us have never done anything illegal or stupid (well, we’ve never made a habit out of anything stupid). In fact, I remember one time I was asked to talk about a problem in my family- perhaps relating to drug use, alcoholism, divorce, etc. I did not have an answer. Not a single person in my close family (includes grandparents, their children, and my cousins- about 12 families total) has ever gotten a divorce. I’m not bragging, I obviously had nothing to do with this track record. I’m just saying, I’d be stupid not to take a closer look at how kids are raised ‘round here.

So lets get to it: Why do your children make bad decisions? Because they are human.

Here’s the real question, why do your children continue to make the same bad decisions?

Because they are enabled.

Parenting is hard, I get it. I am definitely no expert. Children come with no manual on their proper care and keeping. But at the very least, at the very least can we use our common sense? Whoever thought that raising kids on TV and McDonald’s and letting boyfriends sleep over and letting them wear pants below their butts and two piece bathing suits when they were 3 and thongs when they were 10 was a good idea? In what Universe does this make sense?

People, at the most basic level, make decisions based on effort exerted vs. outcome achieved. If a decision requires little effort and has a positive outcome, then people are likely to make it again, especially in lieu of exerting a lot of effort and getting the same outcome. Usually decisions that have a negative outcome, regardless of the effort, will not be repeated, unless the action has an addictive quality or an unforeseen benefit.

So here is what we are going to do.  We are going to implement a few strategies (strategies that I’ve picked up from my parents) to make bad decisions not worth it. If they’re not worth it, your kids will eventually stop making them.

  1. Stop Trying to Be Their Friend | Instead, be their Parent: Similarly, I am not my student’s friend, I am their teacher. Yes, we have fun. Yes, we laugh daily. Yes, they like me. But I do not stoop to their level. Do not try to be cool. You will never be cool. You are twice their age for Pete’s sake. I am only 22 and there is a generational gap between myself and the 16 year olds I teach. You have no chance.
  2. Stop Sparing Their Feelings | Instead, Tell them the Truth With Integrity: Part of living in this world is having a thick skin. Its learning how to give and receive criticism with integrity, tact, and kindness. When your child does something wrong, tell them. Explain why it is wrong (with integrity, tact, and kindness, model this for them). Then, tell them what and how they can do better.
  3. Establish Consequences to Match the Crime: This is where the rubber meets the road. Do not go too far and ground them for a week for rolling their eyes. The punishment should be in some way related to the crime. For example, if the child gets their phone taken away in school, take the phone away at home. If the child does not clean their room, or a does a poor job doing so, Saturday they cannot do anything until it is done. Might this mean waking up at 630 to do so before their baseball game? Perhaps. Clean your room right next time.
  4. Follow Through with the Consequences You have Established: This is how you earn respect, by keeping your word. Trust me, they will respect you. They may throw a fit, they may say they hate you, they may slam doors, and they may cry, regardless, stand strong. If you let them get away with things, you will have one heck of a time unlearning that behavior.
  5. 5.    Let Them Take Responsibility for Themselves, even if it Means they Fail to Accomplish a Goal: Good Lord, do NOT write ANY essay for them EVER. Much less a College essay! Here’s another free tip: I would wager that a grand majority of the students in college applied for it themselves. If your kid can’t manage to get an application TO ANY COLLEGE in on time, they probably shouldn’t go. They should probably work, learn responsibility, and build character. If the work could be some sort of manual labor performed outside, even better. Its good for the soul.

Parents, what are some other good strategies? I would love to hear your thoughts below!

Princeton Mom is Still Wrong.

This is an email I received in response to my blog on “Princeton Mom” the other day.  I wanted to share it and my response to her because many people do not understand the difference between finding a husband, and being open to the Lord’s will for your life. I hope I clarify my position. For what its worth, I agree with much of what “Mom of Seven” says below, and admire her for doing what is best for her family despite the economic impact.

(Disclaimer: Email below has been edited for privacy)

“… She does not at all say that the purpose of college for a woman is to find a husband.  She merely points out that during your college years, you are surrounded by eligible young men and she doesn’t say, but should, that you also have more free time than you ever will after graduation.  It behooves a young women (sic) to not squander that opportunity.  After graduation, typically, a new grad finds employment with multiple age groups.  She might not even work with many adults, or with eligible bachelors.  So her time in which to find a man to marry is now restricted to those hours that she isn’t working.  If finding a husband is truly important, it needs to be at the top of your priority list.  I am not saying that you need to be married by 22 or 23 or risk spinsterhood.  I am saying that the success of achieving one’s life goals is maximized when one takes advantage of the available resources. 

When I was in college, the great lie was that a woman could have it all – career AND motherhood.  I did date my future husband all through college, and we married when I was 24.  I earned an engineering degree and had a very nice career.  I earned even more money than my husband.  I didn’t want to wait until I was 30 to have children, but we were in debt, having gone to expensive private schools.  I had my first child, and returned to work.  I hated it.  We worked so hard for the next 2 years to pay off the school loans so I could stay home when my 2nd child was born.  We weren’t quite there, but I did stop working, and we lost half our income.  Money was tight for many years, but it was worth it to be home.  I learned that we can’t have it all.

It is easy to think when you are young that finding a good husband won’t take much effort.  It is easy to think when you are young that men will always find you attractive.  The older you get, the greater the chances that the men who are available have already had sex, and may have already been married, and may even have children.  You may even find men who fail to mention the reality of still being married while beginning a relationship with you.  This is just life in the big bad world. 

I have 3 daughters.  I also have 4 sons.  They are all under the age of 18.  I stress that right now is the time to focus on your education and sports and other recreational pursuits.  We do not permit dating before adulthood.  But I will tell them all, when they head off to college, that although an education is the primary reason to go to college, they need to keep their eyes open for a special someone.  Would I want my 20 yo getting married?  Probably not.  But I will not lie to my girls and encourage them to pursue a career first and a husband second.  I don’t use that engineering degree much, and probably never will again.  But I use my brain daily in the management of my home, I have several small business endeavors, and I have plenty of ideas about what to do when I really grow up and have no children to tend.  Careers can be pursued at any age.  But a woman can only bear children during a particular window of her lifetime.

-Mom of Seven

My Response:

I completely agree with your position, except for the phrase “find a husband”. I made this clear in the following quote from my blog, “What I am NOT all for, however, is the phrase “finding a husband”.’ This is what I took contest with when I read about “Princeton Mom”.

I am so blessed to be a Christian, to experience the peace of a life that is found with Jesus Christ. I thank my parents for raising me with these values.  As a Christian woman, I know that I do not need to find a husband. If I want to get married, I can certainly place myself in the position of meeting men, be open to men my friends recommend for me, and I can live a healthy lifestyle to ensure that I am at the peak of my attractiveness, but most importantly I need to cultivate a relationship with the Lord and trust in him to send a man my way, and I need to be open to receive him.

I did not, “find” my boyfriend Michael, a good friend introduced him to me. I have set friends up over the years. This is usually how these things go. I am certain you did not “find” your husband, I am sure the good Lord placed him in your path at the opportune time, you both felt attraction, and things blossomed from there, and the only thing you had to do was be open to the Lord’s will!

I am certainly not of the camp that believes you need to have a career and travel and buy a house before you get married…  However, the mindset of having to “find” a husband is similar to the mindset of having to “build” a career and a life before you get married. Both involve having a timeline for our lives that is man made, not God made. Yes, I agree that college is a unique time where we are surrounded by people of our age, but it is also apt to remember that a significant portion of the population has only recently started attending college immediately after high school. Somehow, all those generations before us managed to get married, and far more successfully, as the current, dismal divorce rates would suggest.

I am glad you do not let your children date before adulthood. I also like the phrase you used in closing, “Keep their eyes open for that special someone”. I feel this is much closer to the Christian worldview. Keep your eyes open, but also, “… do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6: 31-33)

I hope this helps clarify my opinion, thank you for writing!

Readers, please feel free to comment with your thoughts below!

I am Traditional, I am Conservative, and I still Disagree with Princeton Mom

            In case you haven’t heard, here is what is trending on today.com: “A member of the class of 1977, Patton advised women currently at Princeton to seek a mate on campus, warning that they would never again be around so many “worthy” men.”

This “Princeton Mom” (formally known as Susan Patton), goes on to describe a college campus as a haven for dating, where like- minded, single men of your age group are all gathered at one place and available for the picking!

My question for this mother, who proves that you don’t need common sense to go to an Ivy League school, is this, “What is the purpose of going to college”?

Call me crazy, but I thought it was to further your education.

Listen, I am all for marriage, I am even all for young marriage.  Heck, if a woman wants to stay at home with her kids instead of working and maybe never even go to college, I completely respect that! I am feminist enough to respect the decisions a woman makes for the well being of her and her family.

What I am NOT all for, however, is the phrase “finding a husband”.

What is this? A scavenger hunt? Are we supposed to be on the lookout for clues? It’s a purty darn expensive scavenger hunt if you ask me!  By the time this is all said and done, I will end up paying many thousands of dollars for my college education.  Money that I will be paying back for at least a decade to come. BUT WAIT, its totally fine! I’ll have a boyfriend when I graduate! THANK GOD that money didn’t go to waste!

Give me a break.

Ladies, ladies… if you choose to go to college, you are choosing to do so because it is an intelligent financial decision for you, your future, and your career choice. If you are trying to “find” a husband, I suggest eharmony.com.

Also, if you are raped, no matter what the situation, report it. It’s not your fault. (I don’t care to expand upon Susan’s remarks on this situation…) read the rest of the article here: http://www.today.com/books/princeton-mom-who-advised-students-find-husband-campus-scores-book-6C10584675

The Florida Panhandle, from Panama City to Jacksonville IS ABORTION FREE!

I cannot tell you how excited I am about the latest in prolife news! See the following email I received from a dear friend in the prolife movement:   “ I have to share with all of you some very special … Continue reading