Men Should Have a Say in Abortion and the Religious Freedom Debate

Link: http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/03/25/a-brilliant-and-innovative-solution-for-women-who-want-birth-control/comment-page-4/#comment-151317

After reading this eloquent article and others by the same author, I was shocked to see how many people immediately discount Matt Walsh’s opinion on birth control and abortion simply because he is a man. (Never mind that this court case: [Hobby Lobby] is very relevant to Matt, being that he is self- employed)

I find it comical that Pro Abortionists cry wolf every time a man tries to assert a pro-life position, or a position that supports religious freedoms for companies who don’t want to subsidize substances that violate their religious beliefs. Ignoramuses shout, “You are a MAN! You can’t have children! Stay out of my vagina!”

How can we push men out of the abortion argument and then simultaneously have a conniption when a man doesn’t want to take responsibility for a child he fathered? Where is the logic here? It’s YOUR vagina! It’s YOUR body! Birth control is YOUR responsibility! YOU take care of the kid and don’t come complaining about child support either.

Here is a truth that some might not want to admit. Once you choose to join your body to another through sexual intercourse you are making your body available to offer itself up for another. Sex makes babies. For those of you whose intelligence is now insulted, I am so sorry. I can’t believe I had to say that either. I can’t believe I have to say that when you participate in sexual intercourse you have now placed yourself in a vulnerable position- but these are the same people who say that a baby is only a baby if it is wanted, so we really can’t expect much in terms of reasoning.

In doing so, you give your body to someone else. If a pregnancy results from that union, then that baby belongs to both of you, meaning that man should have a say in what happens to it. In the same way, he has a RESPONSIBILITY to take care of your child. Because it’s his. Even when it is inside your body, it’s also his baby. Because he fathered it. Therefore decisions about your body, concerning this baby, are also his to make. Because its his baby. Okay. Glad we had that talk.

Therefore, the pro abortion argument that men cannot have a say in what happens to their children (meaning whether or not it should live or die) is completely useless unless we want to relinquish men from their responsibility over the children they have fathered. There is no other option. It is like saying that young people today cannot have an opinion on the Holocaust because they have never nor will never experience it. It is absurd. When something is wrong, it’s wrong. And anyone who knows its wrong and wants to speak against it is entitled to do so, including those who are concerned about unborn children, women’s health, religious freedom, or massive genocide, even if they themselves have no direct correlation to the subject (hint: because men cannot live without ever coming into contact with a woman, every guy has a direct correlation to this subject).

As a member of humanity, we are all interconnected. It is amazing to me that many who advocate for “tolerance”; “unity” and “equal rights” are the same people who so vigorously work to divide men from women and children from their parents. The contradiction among this school of thought is obvious, yet so many buy into this illogical way of thinking. It is shocking.

Men, please continue to advocate for the health and safety of women. Please continue to fight for our children. And please, continue to be presences in the lives of those whom you have co-created, who are the most vulnerable. We need you.

 

Signed,

A Woman.

 

P.S. I have no intention with this blog of removing or degrading a woman’s autonomy.  I am simply saying that when the decision is made to engage in the act of procreation, it should be made with the understanding that a possible result may be a child, who will temporarily have access to our bodies and our resources.

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Stop Enabling Your Kids

I was talking to a student the other day who mentioned that her mother wrote her brother’s college scholarship essay. When she confronted her family about this, she was punished.  I know another friend whose mother requested his college recommendation letters for him.  Other parents, upon recognizing that their children are engaging in drug use, still provide them with spending money.  Colleges complain about parents calling to ask about their children’s grades, evidently their kids won’t tell them. Here a free tip: If you don’t know what grades your student is getting in college… in fact, if you even have to question whether or not your child is passing, DO NOT PAY FOR THE CLASSES.  Why the heck would you pay the ridiculous costs of classes and books and living if your child is going to even think about giving a mediocre performance, and then DARE to keep you, the source of at least part (maybe all) of their income, out of the loop? It’s obnoxious.

Guys, this is a topic that gets me FIRED UP! I am so passionate about this because my generation is going to rule the world one day, and frankly, most of us are not prepared. The reason? We have not been prepared.  The following is a result of my observations of my parents throughout the years, who have raised two children, are in the process of raising two more, and the lot of us have never done anything illegal or stupid (well, we’ve never made a habit out of anything stupid). In fact, I remember one time I was asked to talk about a problem in my family- perhaps relating to drug use, alcoholism, divorce, etc. I did not have an answer. Not a single person in my close family (includes grandparents, their children, and my cousins- about 12 families total) has ever gotten a divorce. I’m not bragging, I obviously had nothing to do with this track record. I’m just saying, I’d be stupid not to take a closer look at how kids are raised ‘round here.

So lets get to it: Why do your children make bad decisions? Because they are human.

Here’s the real question, why do your children continue to make the same bad decisions?

Because they are enabled.

Parenting is hard, I get it. I am definitely no expert. Children come with no manual on their proper care and keeping. But at the very least, at the very least can we use our common sense? Whoever thought that raising kids on TV and McDonald’s and letting boyfriends sleep over and letting them wear pants below their butts and two piece bathing suits when they were 3 and thongs when they were 10 was a good idea? In what Universe does this make sense?

People, at the most basic level, make decisions based on effort exerted vs. outcome achieved. If a decision requires little effort and has a positive outcome, then people are likely to make it again, especially in lieu of exerting a lot of effort and getting the same outcome. Usually decisions that have a negative outcome, regardless of the effort, will not be repeated, unless the action has an addictive quality or an unforeseen benefit.

So here is what we are going to do.  We are going to implement a few strategies (strategies that I’ve picked up from my parents) to make bad decisions not worth it. If they’re not worth it, your kids will eventually stop making them.

  1. Stop Trying to Be Their Friend | Instead, be their Parent: Similarly, I am not my student’s friend, I am their teacher. Yes, we have fun. Yes, we laugh daily. Yes, they like me. But I do not stoop to their level. Do not try to be cool. You will never be cool. You are twice their age for Pete’s sake. I am only 22 and there is a generational gap between myself and the 16 year olds I teach. You have no chance.
  2. Stop Sparing Their Feelings | Instead, Tell them the Truth With Integrity: Part of living in this world is having a thick skin. Its learning how to give and receive criticism with integrity, tact, and kindness. When your child does something wrong, tell them. Explain why it is wrong (with integrity, tact, and kindness, model this for them). Then, tell them what and how they can do better.
  3. Establish Consequences to Match the Crime: This is where the rubber meets the road. Do not go too far and ground them for a week for rolling their eyes. The punishment should be in some way related to the crime. For example, if the child gets their phone taken away in school, take the phone away at home. If the child does not clean their room, or a does a poor job doing so, Saturday they cannot do anything until it is done. Might this mean waking up at 630 to do so before their baseball game? Perhaps. Clean your room right next time.
  4. Follow Through with the Consequences You have Established: This is how you earn respect, by keeping your word. Trust me, they will respect you. They may throw a fit, they may say they hate you, they may slam doors, and they may cry, regardless, stand strong. If you let them get away with things, you will have one heck of a time unlearning that behavior.
  5. 5.    Let Them Take Responsibility for Themselves, even if it Means they Fail to Accomplish a Goal: Good Lord, do NOT write ANY essay for them EVER. Much less a College essay! Here’s another free tip: I would wager that a grand majority of the students in college applied for it themselves. If your kid can’t manage to get an application TO ANY COLLEGE in on time, they probably shouldn’t go. They should probably work, learn responsibility, and build character. If the work could be some sort of manual labor performed outside, even better. Its good for the soul.

Parents, what are some other good strategies? I would love to hear your thoughts below!